BATS!

It all started about two weeks ago.  Carolyn and I were lying in bed when a loud fluttering noise woke us.  It was coming from our second floor bedroom window above our heads.  There was  still enough light outside to see the noise was made by bats flying around.  We watched them a few minutes and agreed this was pretty cool.  Death to the mosquitos!  All right!
We continued to hear them on and off for several nights.  Then one evening as I sat in my recliner reading, a movement on the floor caught my eye .  I looked down an there was a bat crawling out from under my chair.  I gently gathered it up and released it outside.  Two mornings later we found a dead bat in the dining area.  We thought the cat must have brought it in.
The next night we were lying in bed reading and a bat started flying around the bedroom.  I went downstairs to get a towel to try and catch it, when I got back upstairs there were now two.  Being a typical Gustavus house  there is an area in the vaulted ceiling of our bedroom that hasn't been trimmed yet.  As I was chasing the bats with  the towel I saw another bat crawl out of a small hole near where the ridge beam enters the wall above our bed.  I got a rag and stuffed it in the hole.
Have you ever seen one of those round wire screens with a handle on it that you put over a skillet to keep grease from popping out?  Well, I got ours from the kitchen and proceeded to play "batminton" with the bats.  I'm sorry to say at this point wildlife conservation was furthest from my mind.  I won.  Wrapping the losers in a paper towl we went back to bed and tried to sleep.
The next morning a friend of ours brought his extension ladder over and checked the eve of our roof.  Sure enough, there was a opening in it.  He beat on the side of the house and could hear the flutter of wings.  We had bats!
I formed a plan.  That night after all the bats had left I would crawl up the ladder and plug the hole.  At 2230 we crept into position.   Nothing.  I got a rubber mallet and climbing up the ladder again banged on the side of the house.  Mind you I'm 76 years old and I was two stories up on this shaky extenion ladder in the dark when the bats came out right in my face.  Since I'm writing this story it's obvious I survived.  However, I think I used up a years supply of battery power in my pacemaker.
Manfully and under complete control I climbed back down the ladder and took up position with Carolyn.  She had been counting the bats as they flew out.  For the next hour we watched bats fly out of the airspace under our roof.  I expected a half dozen, Carolyn maybe a dozen.  We sat there and counted 152 bats before they finally stopped coming out.
Now I went back into action.  Up the ladder again armed with a can of spray foam I filled the hole.  Ha!  Take that!  We retired in confidence.  Bat problem solved.  Flutter, flutter, flutter.  On came the light.  Three bats were cutting didos over our bed.  Out came the batminton racket.  However, feeling the benevolent conquerer I opened the front door and herded them outside.  Stragglers, we thought.
Next night flutter, flutter, flutter.  On came the light.  Four bats, more stragglers, we hoped.  Another game of batminton.  Next morning I rechecked the hole to be sure it was still sealed.  It was.
We're now up to 160 bats.  I can't wait to see what tonight will bring, the score is 8-love.  However, my hope is they have found a nice warm home in your attic.
Kim Warren