THE ILLUSION

Since Cain slew Abel, peace has been an illusion.  War (violence) has been the reality that defines us.  During peace time we fill the need for battle with competitive sports, hobbies, shopping, competition in the work force, the movies we watch, the computer games we play and even religion.  We compete with new car models and decorating our houses for Christmas.  Because most of us don’t kill to get what we want, it’s called peace time.
Nearly every one that has been in the military will tell you the experience was a defining point in their lives.  Simply put, peace and war are irreconcilable.  The soldier and the civilian strive to exist in the same body.  In order to deal with this dichotomy a sailor that survived the sinking of the Indianapolis goes for midnight swims in the ocean. I pick up my favorite rifle and tell my wife I’m going for a hike in the bush.  In my mind I’m going on patrol.  Search and destroy.  “A soldier’s duty is to close with and kill or capture the enemy by any means available.”  This sign was over the door to my platoon bay, as was the military Code of Conduct, I knew it by heart.
I was raised, as are most people, by a biblical moral code.  We have laws to enforce this code so we don’t make war on each other.  The Ten Commandments are the backbone of the moral standards that we are trained from birth to live by.  If we break these rules we are punished.  Get in a fight at school and you are punished.  Tell a lie and your mom or dad my spank your bottom.  Steal something and you go to jail.
Then I joined the army.  Forget what mom and dad said; now I’m taught to kill or capture anyone my government says is my enemy.  I am trained for months, even years, to be the best killer in the world.  Now it’s my duty to spy, lie, steal, ambush or shoot’em in the back.  I learn to kill with one shot from 800 meters away or kill quietly with a knife.  And when we destroy whole towns killing civilian men, women and children we call it “collateral damage.”   There are no innocent civilians, just non-combatants that got in the way.
So the dichotomy.  The sailor that survived the sinking of the Indianapolis goes for midnight swims with his old shipmates.  Life had a purpose then.  To him they are the fortunate ones.  He wants them to understand it isn’t his fault he didn’t die.  That he is sorry he isn’t with them.
In time he swims back to the shore and I go back to the house, once again to hide the warrior and follow the civilian Code of Conduct.


Kim Warren